On Friday our writing task was to upgrade some sentences given to us. We talked about what a Year 4 sentence needed. We decided each sentence needed adjectives to describe the nouns.
The first sentence we had to upgrade:
- The girl touched the cat.
The happy little girl patted the friendly cat. - Carlos, Calab, Jordan
The famous girl touched the talented cat that could climb high trees and curtains. - Callum, Leah, Tegan
The fancy little girl patted the blonde, furry cat. - Charlee, Jodi, Talia
The next sentence we had to upgrade:
- Slowly, the fish swims in the tank.
Slowly, the gold fish swims in the big diamond tank full of water, while a person watched him swim. - Tom, Sam, Liam
Slowly, the talented fish swam in the ginormous, triangular tank. - Georgie, Claudia, Josh.
Slowly, the shiny golden fish swims in the round, transparent fish tank. - Bri, Dakota, Nicole
Wow! What great improvements you have made to your sentences.
ReplyDeleteYou have made your sentences MUCH more interesting, well done Room 5 : ) from Susan (Callums grandmother)
ReplyDelete